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Auto-generated Transcript of Conversation
00:00:01:04 – 00:00:31:00
Speaker 1
So my parents sent me to New Zealand when I was elementary school just to learn more English. So but in that time, I think sending their young child to English speaking countries kind of like popular in that time. So yeah, I’m the only only one in the family. I went there.
00:00:31:01 – 00:00:33:08
Speaker 2
And did they go with you?
00:00:33:09 – 00:00:39:08
Speaker 1
No, I go there alone. And I had my homestay by mom.
00:00:39:10 – 00:00:42:01
Speaker 2
How did your parents find them?
00:00:42:03 – 00:00:55:10
Speaker 1
In Korean English Academy. And I don’t know. I was really young, so I just enjoy that. I only have a good memory.
00:00:55:12 – 00:00:59:14
Speaker 2
How long were you there?
00:00:59:16 – 00:01:06:04
Speaker 1
Like. Like two year and a half, I guess.
00:01:06:06 – 00:01:14:01
Speaker 2
Wow. That’s a long time. Did did your parents visit or did you go back and forth from Korea during the vacations?
00:01:14:03 – 00:01:20:21
Speaker 1
They. They never visit. But I have my aunt who lives in New Zealand, so I met with my aunt quite often.
00:01:20:23 – 00:01:33:10
Speaker 2
Okay. So they had family. I’m just. Wow. Okay. Okay. So two and a half years. So your was your English by then already? Very good. Or were you just learning it?
00:01:33:11 – 00:02:14:01
Speaker 1
I was just learning it. But I didn’t know some complicated words. But in that time, I don’t know. How do I understand? It’s like learning language in that age is quiet. Like much more easier than learning English now. So sometime my homestay mom and pop say something about their family issues I could understand without using dictionary. So they never told me about like they were going to divorce.
00:02:14:04 – 00:02:52:05
Speaker 1
I just notice in the end and I’m still wondering how did I figure that out? And that happens even with like New Zealand friends when I just want to say something secretly with my other Korean friend. So I talk in Korean. But anyway, they they notice that they are talking about them. So I think learning language in the elementary age, it’s a bit different mechanism.
00:02:52:07 – 00:03:29:01
Speaker 2
Yeah, I think also what you just said reminds me of something so my daughter, she’s not two, she’s not even two years old yet. And her vocabulary is very, very limited. I think it’s a little bit more than we expected for her age, but it’s still very small. But she’s very emotionally in-tune and she understands tone and very well.
00:03:29:03 – 00:04:36:20
Speaker 2
And so when I get angry because I am still learning how to control my own emotions as a new mom, she knows exactly why I’m angry. And when I apologize to her, she understands. And so, you know, even though she’s not capable of saying some things, her capacity to understand what we’re saying is very, very large. And so I think when we’re children and because you’re studying cognitive psychology, maybe you know that we know so much more than we are able to verbalize through any language that we know our emotional capacity to understand emotions is so much higher.
00:04:36:21 – 00:05:04:15
Speaker 2
And so I think when you said, you know, you were able to pick up on those emotional cues, maybe you didn’t have the language either in Korean or English, but because empathy was something that your parents valued and, you know, as children, we’re very in tune with our emotions. I imagine that you were very emotionally intelligent when you were younger.
00:05:04:17 – 00:05:42:06
Speaker 2
And also, I’m curious, I know that when children are separated from their parents at a very young age, that can sort of be a very traumatizing experience or it can have some kind of, you know, emotional repercussions or consequences that we don’t know. And so I’m curious, did you have any sort of longing or desire to be with your parents?
00:05:42:06 – 00:05:44:21
Speaker 2
Did you miss them?
00:05:44:23 – 00:06:28:12
Speaker 1
Every weekend my homestay parents brought me somewhere. You could be an aquarium or a beach or something. Homes, like many places that young children can go and some get some new education. So I didn’t miss my parents and sister that much. But the problem is, it happens at night time because I have a two younger sister, which means we shared one big bedroom.
00:06:28:14 – 00:06:59:18
Speaker 1
So I always sleep with someone else, could be my sister or could be my parents one day. But in there I had to sleep alone and it was my first time and I was young. I think in that time I was still young to sleep with my parents and even they got me a little lion kind of my arm look like a tool.
00:06:59:20 – 00:07:32:13
Speaker 1
It was not enough for me to sleep alone, and there was a digital clock next to my bed and I don’t know, I was always afraid to see that. I know it’s a bit awkward, but I was afraid of number four were number 13. So every that clock changed to like for like 30 or for 40 4 a.m. or PM.
00:07:32:15 – 00:07:40:18
Speaker 1
I don’t know why, but it really caught me feel horrified or something.
00:07:40:19 – 00:07:45:10
Speaker 2
So what did you do?
00:07:45:12 – 00:08:02:14
Speaker 1
I used my blanket like cover all of my face except my nose. I don’t know. I just thought Ghost showed up in 4:44 a.m. in the morning. I was young, so.
00:08:02:16 – 00:08:31:21
Speaker 2
Yeah. And also those are, I think, numbers in South Korea generally that are to be feared. I know that in elevators right. Sometimes the buildings, they don’t have a level four rain. Yeah. So it’s a very cultural thing. And so I’m wondering like, you know, when we are removed from our home culture, our familiar culture, and we’re moved to another culture, things change a little bit.
00:08:31:23 – 00:09:04:04
Speaker 2
And I’m wondering like, was there any kind of reminder that of your Korean culture or of your Korean heritage that you felt in New Zealand that made you feel like you weren’t so far away from home? How did you, like fill that void of not being experience, not experiencing Korean culture during those two and a half years?
00:09:04:06 – 00:09:39:11
Speaker 1
Every time I use chopsticks and my mom sent me a lot of like chopstick that you can only use it one time, but in that time my home, like homestay parents, doesn’t know that. So they put the chopstick into a dishwasher and use it several times. Maybe that could be an example. And yes. and I have some Korean friends in school.
00:09:39:13 – 00:09:43:07
Speaker 1
Yeah, just too. But yes.
00:09:43:09 – 00:09:49:19
Speaker 2
Were they Korean, New Zealand or were they Korean, Korean? And they were also in a.
00:09:49:19 – 00:10:26:22
Speaker 1
Similar story and Korean and also have a similar situation with me. And you know, Korean, especially on math curriculum is much different from New Zealand. So I could learn it when I was like, like third grade. I can solve sixth grade math class. So we had that kind of common and I even learned equation from one of my Korean Korean friends and not from my math teacher.
00:10:27:00 – 00:11:04:06
Speaker 2
So I have only one daughter and I do not plan to have any more children. But she is like the most precious thing to me in the entire world. I would be. I’m always thinking about her and her being. I mean, I’m also thinking of myself, but when I’m not thinking about myself, I’m thinking about my daughter. And even this whole podcast is because I want to be a better teacher and a better parent for my daughter.
00:11:04:09 – 00:11:38:15
Speaker 2
Right? And just my entire like, you know, when you become a mom, your brain literally changes and you have a lot less space for other things. You have more space for your child. And so as a parent, I’m thinking about sending my daughter to another country and I would pack myself in that suitcase and go with her because I would be terrified.
00:11:38:17 – 00:12:06:08
Speaker 2
And so I don’t know. I can’t even imagine being separated from her for two and a half years. And so I’m curious, how did your parents do that and how I’m curious, like if my if I didn’t see my daughter for two and a half years.
00:12:06:10 – 00:12:07:00
Speaker 1
Like.
00:12:07:01 – 00:12:15:07
Speaker 2
I, I cannot imagine what how the relationship would change.
00:12:15:09 – 00:13:00:00
Speaker 1
I already have younger sisters, so maybe that’s why my mom can kind of bear the emotions in. I went there like more than 20 years ago. It means in that time there’s it’s it was not the same internet like now and there is even though Korean keepers so what I did before I go to New Zealand I memorize in my head all Korean keyboard so I could type without installing actual Korean keyboard.
00:13:00:02 – 00:13:30:21
Speaker 1
So almost every day I write to my mom about what happened in my school, in English, in my mom, translated it like every keyboard and she she replied me in Korean every day. I think that could. Yeah. really? That’s sweet. yeah.
00:13:30:23 – 00:13:32:17
Speaker 2
You don’t think so?
00:13:32:19 – 00:14:01:02
Speaker 1
I to be honest, she did when I was young. And, you know, I went to the States when I was in nursing student and in that in the time I now I’m an adult so I know how to send my like postcard and letters to my mom. And my mom never reply that even once. I don’t know what makes her to change that things.
00:14:01:08 – 00:14:26:15
Speaker 1
When I was in middle school, even when I was in New Zealand, I always want to be a film director or makeup artist, but my mom always thought like being an artist or studying art. Like it’s kind of like Sarah type from my mom all the way. Thought it won, make you that much money. You should study properly.
00:14:26:17 – 00:14:48:03
Speaker 1
So in middle school I didn’t study that much. Yeah. So my grade was not that great. And I had a lot of argument with my parents that I want to go high school with, like related to art. And my mom refused it. Yes.
00:14:48:05 – 00:14:50:18
Speaker 2
What did she want you to do instead?
00:14:50:20 – 00:15:37:22
Speaker 1
Like my parents just study and go to popular famous university. She she want me to be a teacher. She thought I might be good at it. Teacher Something stable and I think my parents want me to have a, like, stable job. I can do it. And when I get really old and probably you want me to do something like makeup stuff or film as a hobby.
00:15:38:00 – 00:16:16:22
Speaker 1
Yeah, but like, as a youth, like your first impression of me, I know what I want, so I insist to. I want to learn makeup. So my mom gives me one condition. If you get a, like, highest score, high grade or in high school, I will send you, like, makeup a card to me for six months.
00:16:17:00 – 00:16:20:13
Speaker 2
So was was that a good incentive for you?
00:16:20:13 – 00:17:06:06
Speaker 1
Did you really like that? That’s why I started to study in and went to like several academies. I study like I imagine knew that I was that a kids like. So my like in every weekend my dad throws me to the academy until 8 a.m. and I study a whole day for one or two subjects. And I went home alone with the last train like around 11 p.m. and I can see her face.
00:17:06:07 – 00:17:46:22
Speaker 1
And in week days, my school, like regular class, starts at 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.. But I always go before them that like 7 a.m. and I directly go to library and study until 2 a.m.. I don’t know. I can’t do that anymore. Maybe I, I really want to be a makeup artist one day. Or also my high school kind of my homeroom teacher kind of pressed me that I have to go to, like Seoul National University.
00:17:47:00 – 00:17:48:08
Speaker 1
Yeah.
00:17:48:10 – 00:17:52:11
Speaker 2
Were your parents happy with where you went?
00:17:52:13 – 00:18:12:11
Speaker 1
I don’t think my school is like that top school, but I anyway, got tuition when I get in, I’m not sure. I never saw my parents.
00:18:12:12 – 00:18:15:18
Speaker 2
But they sent you to the makeup academy?
00:18:15:20 – 00:18:18:03
Speaker 1
Yes. Yeah.
00:18:18:05 – 00:18:21:19
Speaker 2
And did you like it?
00:18:21:21 – 00:18:24:18
Speaker 1
Not really.
00:18:24:20 – 00:18:43:17
Speaker 2
really? So you were really looking forward to studying, becoming a makeup artist and you studied so hard because as your mother gave you this, you know, incentive and then you went and you didn’t enjoy it. Can you tell us a little bit about that experience?
00:18:43:17 – 00:19:20:04
Speaker 1
Yeah, I really like learning how to do makeup. And actually my second sister’s major was that, of course, like watching me learning makeup things and the hair. But what I realize is, okay, I like learning makeup and doing makeup stuff, but in that time, like ten or 15 years ago, it’s really hard to get a stable job for makeup artists.
00:19:20:09 – 00:19:53:18
Speaker 1
That’s why I kind of like, okay, my parents, my right, I might just go to university and study and have a stable job and maybe I can afford money to enroll some more. I could. I think Korea, my major was a fashion design. It’s not makeup, but still kind of related to art and also related to film. So I went to a lot of art gallery for sales for the price of papers.
00:19:53:23 – 00:20:40:06
Speaker 1
It was really great, but as a like a two young class, I had to listen psychology 1 to 1, and I realized psychology, I can learn myself and my emotions and I also learned some classes about developmental psychology. And I realized, like you just said, I didn’t live with my parents when I was young. And my maybe not just because of that, my two younger sister more clothes than I.
00:20:40:08 – 00:21:13:15
Speaker 1
I feel like. So I kind of figure out what’s wrong with my family, what is the problem inside my family? And I first I want to figure out and I want to fix it, like do some family counseling or something and that. So maybe the first reason I want to learn more of psychology and I knew that psychology is more popular and well known in the States or Germany.
00:21:13:15 – 00:21:39:16
Speaker 1
So I decided to go. Actually, I wanted to switch it to psychology, but my mom insists you have to finish and you have you need a B.A. in Korean University. So one day you could be a teacher. I mean, if I graduate first and these I majored in Korean University, I could become a middle and high school student teacher.
00:21:39:18 – 00:22:11:04
Speaker 1
Yes, I have the certificate. I still have that name. But to be honest, I regret that I don’t want to be a teacher. I never thought this with my mom, but I’m not good at handling with children and I don’t know why my mom wanted to do that.
00:22:11:06 – 00:22:51:11
Speaker 2
Yeah, I would love to know why your mom wanted you to do that. And I think earlier you mentioned that maybe there’s this idea of stability, right? Because she wanted you to have a stable career and, you know, as a young mom right now, I do think a lot about how can I raise my daughter in a way where she can feel independent and able to live her life happily and freely and fully, even if I’m not here.
00:22:51:12 – 00:23:34:10
Speaker 2
And so, you know, there is sort of like a selfish desire for her to have a stable career. But at the same time, I know that our society grows so fast and that, you know, the jobs that we have are not going to be the same jobs in five years, ten years, 20 years from now. And so I don’t want to tell her, you know, you should definitely become a lawyer or you should definitely become a doctor, because actually, I don’t want her to have those careers because I know how challenging it is.
00:23:34:12 – 00:24:06:21
Speaker 2
And so I understand potentially. I of course, it’s an assumption why maybe your mom and your parents wanted you to have something stable. But I’m curious why a teacher and also I think I don’t know if this is for you and maybe maybe it’s not something that you felt. But I know in South Korea, like image and status is very important.
00:24:06:23 – 00:25:01:05
Speaker 2
And I think I hear a lot about and the reason why a lot of Korean parents, I think, want their children to have, you know, these jobs or go to a prestigious university is for that status. And to, you know, so tangent I ran into my next door neighbor a few days ago and this is the first time we had a conversation Asian and in we only talked for maybe 3 minutes and in that 3 minutes she only talked about her son and how successful he is and how he lives abroad in Canada and, you know, went to university there and is making a lot of money.
00:25:01:05 – 00:25:39:05
Speaker 2
And in 3 minutes, a stranger that I have never met, she just wants to talk about how successful her son is. And so I know that in South Korean society, there is a kind of happiness that comes from being able to talk about the success of your child. And I’m curious, like, do you think that this has anything to do with maybe why your mom wanted you to have a stable career or become a teacher?
00:25:39:05 – 00:25:47:05
Speaker 2
Because I know that is a very respectable job and career in Korea.
00:25:47:07 – 00:26:20:16
Speaker 1
That could be a one reason, but I just thought being a teacher is hard. Kind of my dream job when she was young. And now I’m thinking even I choose makeup or this as my career like society has changed. So I could be a YouTuber or I could get a I mean, I have a passion. I still like to put some makeup on my face.
00:26:20:18 – 00:26:53:18
Speaker 1
So I could have a stable job as a makeup artist. But in that time, she just didn’t know. And she just thought being a makeup artist could never in the stable money. So I had to say, she want me to be happy. I can see that. But maybe the way she thought. Happiness is a bit different from mine.
00:26:53:20 – 00:27:25:23
Speaker 1
I could have. It’s not exactly 5050, but I could have like, suffer interest at the same time. So psychology in film could be on that same boat. Yes. And I just she is psychology. In the end, after I start, I had the experience working in film industry and I realize I really love this job, but the welfare isn’t that good, to be honest.
00:27:26:01 – 00:28:01:04
Speaker 1
Like I could make more money if I choose a job in psychology or like cognitive psychology or become a researcher. So in the end, I kind of feel like, okay, my mom might be right. It’s like a conflict. I I’m still student side. It’s still like that. I have a conflict inside my mind that my mom’s right. Okay.
00:28:01:04 – 00:28:19:06
Speaker 1
Having a stable job and choose a high salary could be better or sometime. Okay, I’ll just. I mean, even I’m a student. I watch, like, many films in a month, so should I have to change my career? But I try to fix my mind as a psychology major.
00:28:19:06 – 00:28:30:19
Speaker 2
But what do you plan to do with your degree in cognitive psychology? Because I know you only have six months left right?
00:28:30:21 – 00:29:05:17
Speaker 1
So my research is about like feature search and I study videos and subtitles and what kind of subtitle is effective when we see them and which kind of like which part Subtitles might be like, cognitively effective the most because like normal subtitles on the top, like bottom of the screen, right? I just call it like a normal subtitle.
00:29:05:19 – 00:29:45:06
Speaker 1
But like, for example, in film festival, they post subtitles and the like Vertical way only Korean subtitles can do this. English subtitles should be in this way. And so this is a like other kind of way to so I can focus directly on the screen. If I especially, I think it’s good for filing wall because sometimes they don’t need to like see the subtitle all the time so they can just focus on screen and they just use like a lens to see a subtitle and understand the contents.
00:29:45:07 – 00:30:33:09
Speaker 1
Or I’m also thinking about like dynamic subtitles. It’s like, it’s like a bubble right next to a speaker’s head or like, bottom side of the face. So I think I want to do more research on the dynamics at table because it doesn’t require you more like your eye movement compared to the bottom traditional way of subtitles. So you can focus or on the speaker and also on the contents at the same time using less cognitive load.
00:30:33:11 – 00:30:52:23
Speaker 1
Yes, that’s what I’m studying. So when when someone say, your major is psychology, could be they, they might thinking I wanted to become a therapist or something similar, but actually it’s more into subtitles. Film videos.
00:30:53:00 – 00:31:25:17
Speaker 2
Yeah, that’s amazing. I know that. So my Korean isn’t very good, but and so when I watch Korean dramas, I’m reading the English subtitles. And the thing is, I’m kind of always like, Why do I even watch the show? Because I don’t know what’s going on in the show, because I’m just reading the words and I can’t see what’s going on in the show and I can’t really focus on, you know, the facial expressions.
00:31:25:17 – 00:32:08:20
Speaker 2
And I’m kind of like, right, you know? And so I understand like why it’s important that you do what you do. And I understand that the cognitive load that you’re talking about, because it does require a lot of energy on my part to just understand, basically. And so I end up watching the same Korean drama multiple times so that once I have the first layer of understanding, I can watch it because I know what’s already going to happen or what they’re already going to say.
00:32:08:22 – 00:32:42:07
Speaker 2
So I can just focus on the interaction and that’s really nice. But now that I’m a mom, I don’t have the I don’t have the time to watch anything these days. And so for me, I know why this is important. And I’m wondering, do you know why this is an important topic for you? Like and maybe it has something to do with the fact that you have been in different cultures, right?
00:32:42:07 – 00:33:00:10
Speaker 2
You’ve experienced being in New Zealand, Australia, the United States, and probably other countries that you’ve visited. Right. And I’m wondering like, why was this a point of interest for you?
00:33:00:10 – 00:33:32:14
Speaker 1
So when I watch a film, a film, the speaking, not my model language, I realize subtitling is really important for some people who are not bilingual. Subtitles The only way you can understand that whole content is right. So I just want I, I’m not like really bilingual, but I could understand film something. We’d have subtitle but my parents or my sisters or not.
00:33:32:16 – 00:34:26:22
Speaker 1
So sometime I want to share how I feel after watching some film. But my parents or sister, they don’t understand same level like me. So that’s why that’s the one reason I want to do research on dynamic subtitles. And I don’t know Japanese at all. Even when I learned that in high school and when I watched Japanese film, some people who are really good at Japanese, they could hear more cues, they could find more cues, like they could understand like background news or background music lyrics to understand a circumstance much faster and easier compared to me.
00:34:27:00 – 00:34:44:22
Speaker 1
So that’s why I want to make like more efficient subtitle In the end, to make others who speak jokes only one or two language to see more vivid words. Something like.
00:34:45:00 – 00:35:42:22
Speaker 2
You know, I have spent all of my life feeling very different, not just in my family, but with my friends and, you know, with the dominant culture in the United States. Like there is no space that I have been in where I haven’t felt different. And I’m slowly starting to understand why. But I want to know for you, because you have experienced so many different cultures and you mentioned that your mom and your younger sisters have only spent their entire lives in South Korea, but you and your father, who have the perspective of living in different cultures, know what it’s like to see Korea from another perspective.
00:35:43:00 – 00:36:20:17
Speaker 2
But when you are in one culture and you’ve never been in a different culture, you can’t understand this culture using the perspective of this culture because you don’t exactly right. And it’s very difficult to communicate to somebody who has never seen or experienced that other culture the way that you can see Korea now because you’ve experienced it from different perspectives.
00:36:20:18 – 00:36:35:08
Speaker 2
And so I cannot imagine all of what is going on in your mind and how your how that difference plays a role in what you do and how you think and you know what you choose to research.
00:36:35:09 – 00:37:34:02
Speaker 1
I think, yes, I sometimes I feel like I don’t belong in this family emotionally because I live different cultures in all the other members except my dad. But yeah, like they live it live their whole time in Korea. So sometimes they don’t understand some values or opinions. And I think they think it’s quite unconventional. I think that’s why I want to I know it’s not directly help this, but I just want to just give one more option to understanding like the words or the film video or any kinds of it to use one more source.
00:37:34:04 – 00:37:55:04
Speaker 1
You know, when you’re watching film, you need more when you know, more background of the era or news or the events, you understand more and you could empathize more of characters. Maybe that’s what I want that.
00:37:55:06 – 00:37:56:08
Speaker 2
Yeah, like context.
00:37:56:08 – 00:38:06:05
Speaker 1
Context. And maybe that is what I want my family to expect, to understand me more in-depth. My mind.